My September in Brown
Grounding After White
Brown came after white.
And I really liked white. White was a good month.
Because of that, brown didn’t arrive as relief or contrast. It arrived quietly, almost without announcing itself. White felt open and light, like space. Brown didn’t take that away. It grounded it.
A Tabula Rasa Moment
I only started writing on September 16th. Before that, the girls were on school break and everything felt a bit scattered. That day was the first day of school, and we went out for a celebratory lunch. I remember feeling unusually calm. Like a tabula rasa moment. Nothing had gone wrong yet. Everything was still open. Everything was possible. And in that moment, everything was simply okay.
It’s a rare feeling for me.
Noticing Growth
I also felt very clearly that both girls had grown over the summer. Elena had gone alone to a camp in Italy and came back more mature, more grounded, quietly proud of herself for managing on her own.
A few days later, the three of us went shopping together. It was easy. No complaining. No tension. No fighting. Harmonious. Almost suspiciously pleasant. I could easily get used to that.
Entering Brown
Brown itself was new territory. I had never really worn it before. Beige, yes – I’ve always loved beige. But brown? Not really. This time I wanted „proper“ brown.
Since doing my color analysis, I’ve realized how well warm browns – especially those close to my hair color – actually suit me. And after the black month, something became very clear: black isn’t my color. It only works for me in rare, very specific situations.
I needed a replacement.
My „new black“.
I had a feeling brown might be it. And it was.
Red vs. Brown
I fell in love with red, but for completely different reasons. Red gave me energy. Action energy. Kick-start energy. Confidence – but the fake it till you make it kind. Red is good for beginnings. For being seen. For drawing attention.
Brown is the opposite.
Brown gives me a different kind of confidence. A real one. Grounded. Calm. Stable. It feels like knowing who you are and being okay with that.
Quiet Elegance
Brown is elegant, but not like black. Black wants authority. Black wants to be taken seriously. Brown doesn’t want anything. It just is. And that’s enough.
At the beginning of the month, I sent a message to a friend without overthinking it. On September 3rd, I wrote: “I’m starting to love brown, but it’s not a color where you show up and everyone falls over because you’re shining. For me, it’s quiet elegance. Groundedness. Maturity. Stability. You know who you are and you’re okay with that. That’s the brown vibe for me.”
A Brown Morning
A few days later, on the 18th, I didn’t even write about brown. I wrote about a morning. Silence. Light. Sun. The house. Doing small things. Enjoying the quiet. Getting a lot done without stress. Feeling tired, but peaceful.
That rare feeling that everything that needs to be done will be done, without panic. I hadn’t felt that in a long time.
To Be Continued
Brown didn’t stop there.
It deepened.
In Part 2, I write about tension and calm existing at the same time, about maternal strength, roots, ancestors, outside reflections – and about why brown is not a color I want to live in permanently, but one I want to return to when needed.
→ Read Brown — Part 2: Roots, Reflections, and Letting Go
