Brown – Part 2: Roots, Reflections, and Letting Go
Tension Still Exists
Not everything in September was calm. There were tense days too. Nervous ones. September 22nd felt tight and restless. But even then, brown stayed consistent. It didn’t fix anything. It didn’t dramatize anything. It just stayed.
Harmony with the Body
By the 23rd, I wrote that I didn’t really have much new to say about brown – except that it had clearly replaced black and grey for me. Even though I still love grey. Brown and caramel feel more harmonious with my inherent colors. With my skin, my eyes, my hair.
Maybe that’s exactly why I feel better in them. Maybe harmony really does something to the body. Either way, the energy is completely different.
Maternal Strength
Dark brown, especially, has a deeply calming quality for me. Almost maternal. Like it already knows what you should do or decide. It’s firm, but not cold. Strong, but not rigid. A warm kind of strength.
It feels connected to the earth. To Gaia. To the universe. To ancestors. To everyone who existed before me. Especially the women.
Roots
It feels like being a tree. Roots deep in the ground, connected to other trees through an underground network. Some no longer visible on the surface. Some already gone. But their remains still there – or transformed into soil, into nourishment – helping new roots, new trees grow stronger.
I don’t know where all of that came from. What I was channeling. But I like the idea.
Maybe it came from remembering that book about trees – about how they are far more connected than we ever thought. Especially underground. Invisible, but undeniable.
Neglecting the Month
What’s interesting is that, for a long time, I didn’t write much about the brown month at all. I almost neglected it. Not because it didn’t matter. And not because I forgot about the color or the project.
Quite the opposite.
I’m full of ideas, as always. Sometimes too full. Too much information inside me and around me. And when that happens, the only real solution, as always, is to be alone with myself, in peace, and then put things on paper.
Not a Permanent Home
Brown is not a color I would wear all the time. By the end of the month, I could feel that. Monochrome brown, constantly – no. Sometimes, yes. Definitely. Especially when I need to channel exactly that energy: grounded, elegant, self-aware, mature, serious, maternal.
But mostly, I’m looking forward to combining brown with other colors.
Seen From the Outside
There was an interesting moment in Dresden during the annual DFZ meeting. People were very enthusiastic about my project, asked thoughtful questions, and even invited me to share my insights and results next year.
After I introduced myself and my project, one woman came up to me and said something that stayed with me. Now it made sense to her, she said, why I was wearing brown. Before hearing about the project, she had found it somehow strange that I was constantly in brown. It didn’t quite match how she had perceived me otherwise. As if the color didn’t fit my personality.
I found that incredibly interesting.
Unexpected Compliments
The girls, on the other hand, told me that brown really suits me. Which surprised me. They’re not usually generous with compliments like that. And brown isn’t a color they particularly like. It can feel old-fashioned to them. Maybe even “for grandmas.”
Or maybe that’s just my own old association talking, because as a child, I definitely thought brown was a grandma color. That’s probably why their compliment caught me off guard.
Brown Everywhere
One more thing I noticed: once again, the color I chose was everywhere in the shops. Brown was in. Maybe it’s just autumn. Maybe last autumn was the same and I simply didn’t pay attention. I honestly don’t know.
Closing
What I do know is this:
Brown didn’t ask for attention.
It didn’t demand consistency.
It didn’t need to be performed.
It held me.
Quietly.
And for a while, that was exactly right.
