If you’ve been following my 12 Colors in 12 Months project, you already know that each month, I immerse myself in a single color – wearing it, surrounding myself with it, and observing how it influences me. It’s been a fascinating journey so far, and each color has surprised me in different ways.
November’s black was introspective, grounding, and a little mysterious. December’s red was bold, passionate, and full of high energy (instant love!). And then came January’s violet – a color I thought I’d easily connect with, but as it turned out, it had something very different in store for me.
As I mentioned in my Hello Violet post, I didn’t own a single violet piece of clothing before this month. And to be honest, I wasn’t particularly excited about transitioning from red to violet. Still, I was curious to see what this color would bring into my life.
From Red to Violet – A Slow Transition
On January 1st, we had friends over, and they were intrigued by my project – especially since we had celebrated New Year’s Eve together. They had seen me dressed in red the night before, and now, suddenly, I was in head-to-toe violet. As always, I received plenty of compliments for the red. For violet? Not so much. One of them even asked if I planned to change my makeup and hair color as well. I just laughed. No need to go that far! But nail polish? Absolutely. That’s one of my favorite things to change – such a small detail, yet it makes a big impact. After all, we constantly see our hands throughout the day.
My daughters friend visited in the first days of January, completely unaware of my project. The moment she saw me, she immediately pointed out that I was wearing all violet – and added that it suited me well.
A Weekend in Violet – and a Style Dilemma
During the first week of January, we took a long weekend trip to Zurich to visit friends. It was freezing cold, so I was constantly bundled up in a jacket, scarf, and hat – all in violet. (Image 14) But something felt off. Each piece of clothing I had in violet seemed to be a different shade, and none of them harmonized well together. The reflection in the mirror just didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t feel like myself.
Different shades of violet, especially warm versus cool tones, can evoke completely different moods. Deep purple and pastel lilac, for example, are worlds apart. This time, I decided to break my own rule. Unlike my previous months, where I stuck to a more unified approach – wearing only black in November and high-chroma reds in December – this month, I allowed myself to experiment with all shades of violet. Whether deep or light value, muted or bright chroma, it didn’t matter. If it looked purple at first glance, I wore it.
The only rule that remained consistent? I could pair violet with neutral tones, but only for pants or skirts – never for the top half of my outfit. Unlike previous months, where I stuck to more specific tones, this time, I was more flexible.
But maybe that was part of the problem.
Struggling to Connect with Violet
I couldn’t shake the feeling that violet just wasn’t me. And I didn’t know why. Was it the clothes I bought that didn’t harmonize? Was it the specific undertones? I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just wasn’t connecting with this color. Instead, I felt irritated.
And yet, it’s not that violet doesn’t suit me. In fact, I love certain shades, some pastels, some deep purples. But maybe I love them more on paper – in a painting, in nature – rather than on me.
Of course, I gave violet more time. What else could I do? But this wasn’t an instant love story like it had been with red. And that, in itself, was surprising. If you had asked me before this project, I would have sworn I’d connect with violet more easily than with red. And yet – here we are.
Deepening the Connection with Violet
I started thinking about ways to connect more deeply with this color. Maybe adding a few small projects would help?
For example, I could buy different types of violet flowers and create my own bouquet (Image 10). I could finally use the violet-infused oil I bought last month during my red light therapy session. Now that I have my own violet light therapy lamp (image 5), I could make it a regular part of my routine. Cooking something beautiful with purple fruits and vegetables (Image 11) also seemed like a good idea.
Some elements were already in place – I was wearing an amethyst bracelet, my nails were painted violet – but I felt like I could do more. Painting with violet pigments, diffusing lavender essential oil, and incorporating even more sensory experiences might help me truly immerse myself in this color.
Amethyst and Restless Nights
Speaking of amethyst – I’ve had a large piece sitting on my bedside table for years (Image 4). I also have a small amethyst stone (Image 12) that fits perfectly in my hand, and sometimes, I hold it when I have trouble falling asleep. I remember reading somewhere that amethyst is supposed to help with sleep.
Sleep wasn’t really an issue for me in the past, but lately, it has become more of a struggle. To help, I’ve started taking magnesium and melatonin. But honestly, the main reason I can’t fall asleep is that I stay up late writing my blog. My mind is overflowing with ideas for this project, which is exciting – but the downside is that I’m seriously lacking sleep. And no matter how late I go to bed, I still have to wake up early to get the kids ready for school. So, while violet may be linked to relaxation and dreams, right now, I associate it more with sleepless nights and a racing mind.
A Synchronistic Encounter with Amethyst
I had an interesting synchronicity with amethyst while in Zurich. One evening, I shared a story on Instagram showing my small amethyst stone. The very next day, we visited the Kunsthaus to see Marina Abramović’s exhibition – and there it was, the largest amethyst I had ever seen in real life (Image 6).
Marina, like me, is a lover of crystals and Nikola Tesla. That’s something we have in common, along with our Yugoslavian roots and a deep love for art. This massive amethyst, split in half, stood on three legs and was over two meters tall. As part of the interactive exhibit, visitors were invited to stand beneath it, close their eyes, and simply be—staying in the moment for as long as they wished.
If only I could have stayed as long as I wanted! Unfortunately, with the long line of visitors waiting their turn, lingering there indefinitely wasn’t an option. So, relaxation was out of the question. But honestly, I could really use a giant amethyst like that at home – where I could stand beneath it for as long as I pleased.
The Perception vs. The Reality
Something interesting happened while I was standing beneath that giant amethyst. As I was taking a photo (Image 8), a girl in the line behind me, clearly noticing my all-violet outfit, casually said: „It matches you really well – it’s your thing!“
And in that exact moment, I thought to myself – this couldn’t be further from the truth, haha.
It was a perfect example of how people see what’s on the outside. We form impressions of others based on what they present to the world, often assuming it reflects who they truly are. And how many times have I done the same – formed an opinion about someone based on their appearance, without knowing if it actually aligned with how they felt inside?
The irony was that, at that moment, I couldn’t have felt less like myself. Being dressed head to toe in violet wasn’t just unfamiliar – it was uncomfortable.
The Mystery of Violet
It feels like I’ve become obsessed with one question: How do I learn to love lilac? As if it even matters whether I love it or not. It doesn’t. The whole point of this project is simply to observe how I feel in each color.
And yet, I can’t shake this feeling. What fascinates me is that I was convinced I liked lilac. So why don’t I feel it now? What’s the issue? What’s the disconnect? I don’t understand it, and that in itself is frustrating.
It’s not the color that irritates me – it’s my own unfulfilled expectations about the color. I thought I would love it, and I don’t. And that bothers me. But at the same time, this whole mystery has started to intrigue me.
I suddenly feel like Sherlock Holmes on a mission. The Case of the Missing Connection to Violet. Time to solve the mystery of purple! Haha.
Finding My Perfect Shade of Violet
After the bouquets of flowers, the lavender essential oils, the violet light therapy, and reminiscing about childhood memories tied to purple flowers, I decided to take a different approach. If I couldn’t feel violet emotionally, maybe I could connect with it visually.
So, I gathered every piece of violet fabric (Image 3) I could find in my home – there were quite a few – and tried them all against my skin, comparing shades and undertones. And here’s what I realized: Most shades of violet actually look great on me. Even the cooler ones! Not only do I think violet is a beautiful color in general, but it genuinely flatters me. Unlike black, which felt too harsh, violet created a harmonious reflection in the mirror. My hair and skin blended beautifully with it. In fact, it suited me better than red. (Images 2, 9, 15)
Yes, red had given me energy—but violet? Violet is quiet.
That’s the difference.
Red was loud, demanding attention, a bold statement. Violet, in contrast, whispers. It’s subtle. Almost too subtle for me to feel it the way I felt red.
It reminds me of my sister’s old apartment, which faced a busy main street. The traffic was relentless, even at night, and the noise made it impossible for me to sleep when I visited. But for her, that constant background hum had become normal. So much so that when she stayed at our parents’ house—where the nights were completely silent—she couldn’t sleep because the quiet felt unnatural.
We adapt to what we’re used to, even if it’s objectively not normal. Maybe that’s part of what’s happening here. I’ve adjusted to the energy of red, and now, violet feels like too much of a contrast.
Either way, I see no reason why I shouldn’t be thrilled to wear violet. And yet—I’m not. Fascinating.
(Also, I’ve already written about my childhood memories with purple flowers and my search for the perfect violet in previous blog posts, so I won’t repeat all that here.)
At this point, I still wasn’t sure how I felt about violet. But as the month continued, something unexpected happened – violet started following me everywhere… Read about it in the Part 2.
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